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If you ever noticed, we humans are groomed and conditioned to be ‘winners’ and to avoid ‘failures’ right from the moment we start to notice the world around us after birth.success-and-failure-sign

As a child, we are chided by our parents for ‘failing’ to follow their instructions, or ‘failing’ to do well at school or even ‘failing’ to get along with our siblings.

The event of ‘failure’, in any way, is looked down upon at every step in the society we live in and by the world which presumably judges us for our actions.

The fear of failing starts to get so entrenched and well-positioned in our brain, as we grow up, it consequently prevents us from ‘trying’. We become so consumed by this fear that we dread taking initiatives, just in case we might fail to come up to others’ expectations – in professional or personal relationships.

Now, if fortunately by the time we start to understand the gravity of the stranglehold of this fear, we realise we are half way through our journey and ‘failed’ to make a start on our life.

And then begins the blame-game!

It’s important to understand the feeling or fear of ‘failure’ is just another state of mind, and that ‘failure’ is a relative term, generally defined by certain parameters of our society, which again are only relative and not absolute.

Examples from our history, and even the present, suggest and confirm that success and happiness are reaped by people who have conquered the fear of failure.

Milton Erickson, the world renowned psychiatrist and clinical hypnotherapist, was both dyslexic and colour blind, and severely paralysed at the age of 17 due to polio when the doctors gave him just one night to live.

He was not ready to be defeated by any of those challenges and lived up to be 79, even while helping to transform people’s lives using the powers of unconscious mind. He is also noted for his contributions to Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP).

NLP considers every event in life, including the so-called ‘failures’, as ‘feedback’ – information we can learn from.

A belief in ‘failure’, according to NLP, constricts lack of choices and leads to getting stuck. On the other hand, a belief in ‘feedback’ leads to opening up of new choices and learnings to achieve the desired results. It can work like magic!

So, give this magical method a go the next time you feel you have ‘failed’ in a goal – collate lessons from that event, ponder the feedback and utilise the new perspective to achieve what you desire.

 

 

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Decisions form the basis of our lives. Life is full of them and evolves as a result of them.Image

Every moment in our life demands a decision – right or left, latte or flat white? red or black? Thai or Mexican? chocolate or nuts? drive or walk? slow or fast? NZ or Aus?

We’ve to take some decisions quickly, while there’s plenty of time to think about others. Some of them have transient impacts while others leave long term effects, which we may regret or feel happy about.

Every time we have to take a decision, we try to take the ‘right’ ones. So, why is it that some of them turn out to be the ‘wrong’ ones? Or is it just our impression of it?

If you feel concerned about any decision, these 3 key steps may help to judge them, without being judgemental about your capabilities:

  1. Think of the state of your mind when you had to take that decision.
  2. Reflect on the circumstances surrounding that decision.
  3. How did you feel after making that decision?

It’s important to remember we will never always be able to take the ‘right’ decisions, because what seems right today may seem wrong tomorrow! It’s also our perspective around our decisions that influences how we feel about them.

In most cases, we can learn from our decisions to help improve our future decisions.

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